Resolutions. Anytime. #2

Here I am again... resolving...

When I looked through my list today to pick one of the items to blog about, I wanted to write about them all!
They all seem so relevant on a daily basis and I wanted to shout them all from the rooftop. I also realized just then that that is exactly what I shouldn't do. This is something I have struggled with for years... no, not shouting (ok, yes... shouting), but what I mean is I have always tried to do it all. At once. Everything. Clean, cook, educate, discipline, work, eat right, be nice... ugh...
Inevitably, nothing worked out and I would bitch and moan and nag and cry about it. Why? Because you cannot fly 42 kites at once.

Well, at least I can't.

If you or someone you know can... then please come by my house. I will bake you a cake! :)

So, today I chose not to write about how to manage it all, but instead, how to pick ONE kite and smile while flying it high...


Resolution #2: STOP COMPLAINING!

This is me.

I am the complaints department.

And I hate it.

I hear it coming out of my mouth and before I can stop it, I have whined about yet another nothing.

Then I realized that this gal had figured it out...

She was getting shit done and smiling about it aaaand looked good doing it... bonus! Because when it comes down to it, shit does have to get done and sometimes (more often than not) you have to do it. End of story. So, why not just accept what's on your list, spare yourself the sob stories, tiny violins and lame excuses and just DO IT!

I know this may sound like tough love and maybe it is. But I learnt that all the amount of crying about a task on your to-do list won't make it go away (and what a waste of your time and energy). I also learnt that while I was stuck in my own sorry universe complaining, I was dragging the people I love around me into it to. That just wasn't fair.

Fact: There are dishes in the sink.
Fact: The dishes need to be cleaned.
Fact: I can get it done and NOT nag anyone else about it and it hasn't taken more than 10 minutes out of my day.
Fact: Everyone is happy and I haven't given my left arm or kidney for it.
Fact: There are now clean plates to eat off of.

That is just one small example. I am not saying to become the maid in your household, my kids and husband do their share too. So, if there is something I have to do... I do it. And I figure adding a smile to it would make the job go a little smoother. For me.

My list of things to do never goes away and it never will. Acceptance of this is a choice and once I chose to take it on with a smile, life became just a little more pleasant. Amazeballs.

I am still trying to figure out how this lady does it... perhaps I need a bird or bunny to sing with me. Maybe a squirrel in the rafters and a deer to help with laundry?... I dunno.

But until then, I choose to suck it up and smile, even when I don't like what's on my list. And just stop complaining about it. Cause... why?!
Not a bad lesson for my kids to grasp as well.

Resolutions. Anytime. #1

It has taken tragedy and trauma for me, but I have realized that I could be a better person. A much better person.

That's not to say I beheaded dolls and tripped people for the fun of it.

Wait...

I did do one of those. Once. I thought it would be funny. It wasn't. I was 12. He was on a skateboard. Downhill. I put my foot out. It wasn't pretty. There was a nurse's office involved and some very dirty looks. From the nurse...

My point is, I can always be better.

A few months ago my path in life got very bumpy and it took losing my mom and a marriage wake-up call for me to realize I was walking the wrong path. I could see the right one for years but for some reason I never pushed myself to take it. I am now. And I have a list of 58 (and growing) resolutions that I look forward to taking head on.
I was not the person I knew I could be or even the person I wanted to be. Someone waved a free ice-cream cone or something stupid along the way and I took an unfortunate d-tour. Now I need to find my happy again!

My mother's passing brought into vivid clarity for me just how many missteps I took along my paths. How many times I was negligent with what was gifted to me and how there was absolutely NO time to lose. Life is not that short, but it can be wasted and not appreciated for every moment we have. I refuse to let that be my path.
(and no, she did not waste hers or take it for granted... I just didn't learn her precious lessons when she was here with me)

My marriage made me realize that I had ridden a wave right to the shore. Great, I guess. But I had never paddled or tried to stay afloat. It was all dumb luck and now we were beached. Like a big blubbery whale that went too far, we were stuck and losing hope. I am learning that you can paddle back however, even if it seems too late, there is always room for improvement and always a lesson to be learnt.
(we are a work in progress)

So, (and this may seem unrelated)...


Resolution #1: READ MORE!

I have always loved to read. I first lost myself in the fantasy worlds of Enid Blyton and Roald Dahl. From there, it was Nancy Drew and Agatha Christie all the way through high school. Stephen King was my main man for a while in college and then the rest of the world trickled in too. There was always a sprinkling of self-help books and new age writings in our home too and I was fascinated with everything from metaphysics to Taoism and even the Bermuda Triangle. Yeah, I was all over the place!
I still love a good novel and the feeling of being transported into another world. One where I don't nuke dinosaur chicken nuggets and beg for homework to be done and undies to be picked up off the floor (real life, man!), but in the past few months I have found so much healing, learning and growing in the 'self-help' books I have read and that is why reading more is first on my list.

This is my bedside table right now. And no, I don't read them all at once. These are just my 'to-do's' and some of my 'have-done's' :)

I have read books on peaceful parenting, mending relationships and mourning for a loved one. I have read about dreams and the Kabbalah, as well as books on how to simplify and add meaning to your life. These were all truly a life vest for me in an ocean of uncertainty and fear of the future.

Where a great story book takes me on a fast paced adventure or FBI thrill ride, the right self-improvement book is like a warm hug from a dear friend who just gets the shit you are going through and knows just the right thing to say. It can help you sink or swim.

I am so grateful that the books that were recommended to me helped me swim through the mess I was going through and they still help me. It isn't unheard of for me to go back and read a book again just to let the message really sink in. Sometimes I even take notes. *cough - nerd..*

I will review some of the books I read as I get through them. And soon as I am done hugging them!

Let me know if you want any recommendations :)